The long goodbye?

It has been an interesting week, if it were possible to feel as though the days are in the eye of a storm, I guess that would be the closest way to describe it; calm and static-y. I leave Los Banos on Saturday and will then head off in other directions, a few other places to visit and soak in the PI. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that a part of me doesn’t want to go back. Of course I miss my family and friends, there’s no question about that, but I’m not so sure about America. It’s like I’ve stripped away the everyday comforts and luxuries (read: air conditioning and lack of mosquitoes in my cold shower), and have found something more meaningful, raw even. And I’m not sure if it’s my re-discovery of my heritage and culture, or if it’s the way people exist here– close and connected.

It’s not even something that can be translated to my life back in the States. The two don’t fit together. Whether it’s the physical distance from family members or the emotional distance of lifetime’s spent driving ourselves to independent destinies; the Philippines will stay here and I will return to America. It’s not all sadness though, I have made many friends here and can now see that this place is home too, I will (we will!) somehow make a life that can include my Homeland, and that makes it a bit easier to leave. It’s not really goodbye at all, more like “Hanggang sa muli!” (till next time)

Ingat,

vanessa

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by malou on July 29, 2010 at 3:57 am

    it must just be that the Pilipinas-shaped vacuum in your soul has just been filled? add to that, the self-discovery that you do fit in sans the color and the tongue. you are a good experience for us at e3 and we will definitely miss you.

    keep up your Tagalog (your Lola will be the happiest) and that will help keep our bonds tight and close.

    salamat sa pagkakaibigan (friendship) at, oo, hanggang sa muli!

    Reply

  2. Posted by peter on July 31, 2010 at 12:56 am

    Goodbye for you is hello for us!

    Reply

  3. Posted by elizabeth on July 31, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    You may have just articulated “diaspora” in two paragraphs. The US is all displacement within immediacy and concrete shoes of gogogo. It doesn’t have to be, although how to make it different is entirely unclear. You will find a way. xo

    Reply

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